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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25614202">Cracks In The Heart Of Anne Boleyn</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExhaustedSunflower/pseuds/ExhaustedSunflower'>ExhaustedSunflower</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>There is a reason for every little thing we do [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Six - Marlow/Moss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:07:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,765</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25614202</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExhaustedSunflower/pseuds/ExhaustedSunflower</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There are many things Anne Boleyn regrets. Her regret from her past sometimes blinds her to the present. But she’ll figure it out. She has to, it’s what she always does.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>There is a reason for every little thing we do [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814929</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Listen, this one might also really hurt. I know I said I felt bad so I gave you fluff with Jane, but in order to express this one I need to hurt Anne. Sorry in advance.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Anne and Catalina have come up with a truce, and have therefore started a shaky friendship. Now, this doesn’t mean they don’t argue anymore. On the contrary actually. Those two still argue more than any of the women in the home. Anne has one hell of a temper, and Catalina is too quick to say anything on her mind. They’ve always clashed, the only difference is that now when the argument is over, they apologize or otherwise make up. But their arguments are loud and sometimes violent. One particularly bad one is happening today.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re overreacting! I wasn’t intentionally trying to get you dirty!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina, who is covered in strawberry jam, is not inclined to forgive.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You could have told me that you were setting up a prank in here!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t want to get you involved!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kitty has no idea how to even attempt at calming this situation. The prank had been meant for her. She looks to her right to see Jane and Anna watching the argument just as apprehensively. She also sees the tail end of Cathy’s hoodie as she escapes to her room. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mental note: check on Cathy.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I would have told you you were being an idiot, right? A warning still would have been nice.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina has been a bit snappy recently, everyone has noticed. Most of her anger has been directed at Anne. And if she wasn’t arguing with Anne she was acting distant. It could have to do with the fact that in her past life, it was around this time that her health started declining. But only Anne knew this.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well maybe I didn’t get you involved out of respect for the fact that you don’t like pranks. Did you ever think of that!” Anne’s voice is booming, even though her words are sort of thoughtful. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina slams the mug she’s been holding onto the counter with such force the handle comes off.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You wore yellow to my funeral!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everything’s stopped. Anne doesn’t seem to have a response to that, she surely wasn’t expecting it. None of them were.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t get to talk about respect for me. You have </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> had respect for me.” Catalina says, her tone low and dangerous. Then she turns around. The audience practically jumps out of her way as she exits.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They all stand in silence after she leaves. The shock is sent in waves through the room. It’s not normal for Catalina to be the one to lose her temper like that. She gets riled up when it’s Anne, sure, but she never loses it like that. Jane walks over to collect the pieces of the mug. Anna checks to make sure Anne is okay. Anne is just standing there, staring at the spot Catalina was standing in. She looks as if she’s going to cry. Kitty leaves to check on Cathy. They’ll figure this out later; right now they need to recover from the shock.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In the last chapter the overwhelming response was OH SHIT. Which made me laugh very hard, so thank you for that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Anne hasn’t left her room for days. Well, actually, she’s left her room in the dead of night to get some food and water. But other than that she hasn’t left her room in days. Understandable, because after their last argument the tension between Catalina and Anne could burn a hole through concrete. Hell, even without Anne around Catalina has been tense and no one has had the nerve to try and calm her, not even Kitty or Cathy. At least that’s what Anna has been telling Anne.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anna is a good friend. And as a good friend, she’s taken up the roll of filling Anne in on life in the living areas of the house. Anne, for her part, at least pretends to pay attention. It’s hard when she can feel her thoughts spiraling every second of every day. It feels an awful lot like when they all first reincarnated and they all hated each other. Except now they just hate Anne.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne isn’t stupid, she knows that in the group she is the least liked. She gets on Catalina’s nerves. She makes Jane angry. The other three get uncomfortable with her, knowing that when she walks in not too far after there will be an argument or she’ll do something obnoxious. But she got over it. She doesn’t need to be well liked, she’s never been well liked. All she needs is to be tolerated. Holding out hope that people actually love you is futile. It never ends well. She can’t help but love everyone around her, but she has made peace with the fact that they do not love her back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At least, she thought she was tolerable. She thought Lina and her had come to an agreement, that they were on the same page. Apparently not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She did wear yellow to her funeral.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yellow is the color of mourning in Spain. It was to commemorate her memory. But, in England it was the color for joy. Anne was the queen of England. She celebrated Catalina’s death. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She can’t quite remember if she meant it as a celebration or not. She’d been jealous and awful to Catalina and to Mary. And Anne won’t lie and say that after all the time of fighting to be the true queen, hearing that the rightful queen was gone didn’t make her happy. It had made her happy, and that is yet another reason why Anne is a terrible person. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But there’s another part of her, one that was there at the time too, that was actually grieving for the great Catherine of Aragon. She felt awful for hurting the woman. Catalina was just so genuinely good. She cared so much for the people of England. She endured so much to get where she was. And she was a mother. Anne took all of that away from her. She hadn’t really cared about if Catalina ever saw Mary again. No, she never felt guilt for that until she was faced with never seeing her Elizabeth again. She hadn’t felt bad for Mary until she thought of what it would mean for Elizabeth to lose a mother. She did that to Mary, she took her mother away. And then she wore yellow to her mother's funeral. Out of some sort of misguided apology. But she didn’t make it clear it was an apology, so she essentially disrespected Catalina’s death by doing so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This all only means one thing. Anne is an inherently bad person. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps she actually deserved to be beheaded. She’d done so much wrong. She’d hurt so many people. Even as she tried to do something good, she did it wrong. Even now she does this. Catalina has been so patient with Anne, and Anne has just been failing to show her gratitude over and over. How had she not apologized for the funeral thing yet? Is she that much of a coward?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes, she is. She is not going to try to apologize now. It’d come off wrong, like she’s only doing it because it was brought up. She’ll figure out how to make this better another way, because surely her apology would not be accepted right now.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Anne is sad.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I would like to formally apologize. All of you were so upset with the last note. In my defense, she IS sad.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Just go talk to her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s what Anna has been telling Anne for the last few days. As if this is something that Anne can </span>
  <em>
    <span>just talk about</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The guilt is eating Anne alive, so much so she’s just woken up from a nightmare- no, a memory, from that day. She remembers the decision, the act of doing it. Pretending to be more happy than she was to hear that Catalina had died. Putting on a show, like an awful person would. She can’t just go talk to Catalina about this. Catalina has every right to be pissed, nevermind what brought it up. Though she does wonder why after all this time Catalina brought it up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne can’t go back to sleep after that, she feels the guilt gnawing away at her. So she stands from bed on shaky legs to go downstairs and get some water, maybe a snack or two as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>She walks quietly through the hall, careful not to wake anyone. God forbid someone come out of their room to find Anne standing there. She looks as bad as she feels. She makes her way down the stairs and sees the kitchen light on. And just as she’s about to turn around she also hears a very familiar sniffle. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cathy,</span>
  </em>
  <span> why is Cathy crying in the kitchen at this hour? One more heartbreaking sniffle tells her she can’t turn around. There’s a special place in hell for anyone who can hear that noise and actually walk away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Walking into the kitchen is kind of scary. Mostly because no one besides Anna has seen Anne in about five days. And she has no idea how Cathy will react to her. Will she be angry with Anne too? Anne hurt her godmother, surely she would be. But when Cathy sees her she doesn’t look angry, just tired.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Sorry, did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne shakes her head. Cathy is trembling as she holds a cup of tea. She has a blanket wrapped around her so tight it might be an attempt at replicating a hug. The poor dear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I came to get some water.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy nods and moves out of Anne’s way. But now Anne is more concerned with Cathy than getting something to drink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright, darling?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t know why she calls Cathy that, but it’s stuck. She watches Cathy visibly relax a bit at the pet name, so Anne takes a step forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mhm.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne is dubious about that one. “Are you sure?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy just looks at her. Anne isn’t quite sure what to do here. It’s just occurred to her she hasn’t seen anyone, even at night, all week. That means that no one has gone to her for comfort all week. (It also means no one has comforted her all week.) She grabs Cathy’s arm lightly and leads her to sit at the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cath, why didn’t you go to someone when you woke up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lina had a nightmare, so she’s with Jane. She’s been acting weird recently anyway, so I haven’t gone to her in a bit. And Anna is helping Kitty tonight. And you’ve been,” She hesitates for a moment, “angry, I think?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Angry?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, darling. I’m not angry. You can come to me any time. Even if I was angry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course she’s not angry. Why would she be angry? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s quiet. It lasts for a long moment as both of the women contemplate the conversation they’re having. Then, Cathy breaks the silence with a small hic, because she’s still crying. And Anne immediately tries to make her feel better. But Cathy beats her to it, because she’s getting better about asking for comfort, apparently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you’re not too angry to give me a hug?” Her voice is so small as she says it. Anne’s heart breaks for her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll always give you a hug.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you need a hug?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That catches her off guard, because this is not about her. Cathy must see the confusion on her face, because she clarifies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You just look like you might need one. And you’ve been locked in your room… If you’re not angry maybe you’re sad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne thinks about this for a moment. Honestly, a hug sounds really good right now. So she agrees.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In literally less than a second she has a cuddly Cathy basically glued to her. They’re pretty much sharing a chair at this point. They hadn’t expected Cathy to be as cuddly as she is when they first came back. The woman is nearly just as expected to curl up in your lap as their household kitten, Bea. This is very likely why Cathy gives such good hugs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At some point, Anne starts crying. So that makes two trauma ridden, reincarnated ex queens of England, sitting on the same chair in the twenty-first century crying. You know, normal things. Cathy just hugs her tighter, even wraps her blanket around Anne to add to the warmth, and tries to stop crying herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you wanna talk about why you’re sad?” Cathy asks after a while.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne shakes her head, “Nothing that you need to worry about, darling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s Cathy’s turn to look dubious as she takes in the answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re all worried, you know. Even Catalina’s been worried.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sincerely doubts that Catalina is worried about her, but she plays along for Cathy’s sake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry to have worried you all. I’ll be back to the land of the living tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t mean to promise to come out of her room, but there’s something about the way Cathy is looking at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” And she seems so excited, like she actually accomplished something by getting Anne to come out of her room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” That means she has to, whether she’s ready or not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good, we’ve missed you.” She squeezes Anne a bit harder, and Anne squeezes back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I bet you haven’t actually.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve missed you all too.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So like, she got a hug. Ask and you shall receive.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Breakfast is a little awkward the next day. Only a little.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” Anna says in an attempt to fill the painful silence. “French toast, am I right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kitty seems to be very grateful for any conversation she can get.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes! I love french toast! Cathy makes incredible french toast.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy smiles at the compliment, “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kitty nods in response, and that's the end of the attempted conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne looks around the table. Catalina is in her usual spot at the head of it. She hasn’t spoken at all besides thanking Cathy for her plate, and she looks rather disconnected from reality. Jane, on Catalina’s right, is sitting as close to Kitty and as far from Catalina as possible. That’s strange, to say the least. Kitty is next to Anne, who is at the other end of the table, and she seems to have no issue being close to her. So Anne wonders what’s up with Catalina that Jane is keeping her distance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not just Jane, either. Cathy, who is on Catalina’s left side, is sitting and even leaning closer to Anna as she eats. She hasn’t really looked at Catalina other than giving her her food. Anna seems fine with having Cathy sitting right by her side, and even has her blanket draped over both of their legs. She’s also not having too much difficulty with being near Anne. Though that was expected, because Anna was allowed in her room and therefore knows that Anne is not the angry one. Anne supposes that Cathy mentioning Catalina acting weird lately has to do with all of this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The setup is tense. Anne decides that she doesn’t like it at all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cath, it really is good.” She tries out breaking the silence herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy puts out another thank you and that seems to end it. She looks at Jane, who seems to be in physical pain at the silence, and tries again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we could collaborate sometime? I know baking isn’t really your thing, but I could use a second opinion on my next cake project.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As long as it’s not a disaster area afterwards.” Cathy responds, voice teasing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Baking is an art, and art is messy. It’s not my fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you two in the kitchen together isn’t such a great idea. Anne’s a bad influence and we all know Cathy adores her opinion too much to say no.” Anna says with a lax smile. She knows what the response will be, flustered Cathy and hopefully a teasing and more relaxed Anne.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will have you know I’m not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> easy to influence!” Cathy retorts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not usually, no. But for some reason when you’re near Anne you get that little sister look on you and you let her pull you in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She laughs at Cathy’s offended face and then continues, “Don’t worry, Kitty does it too.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Out of the two of us I’m the older sister!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! I could be the older sister!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy and Kitty are about to commence in one of their famous ‘fights’. But thankfully, Jane jumps in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, they both make good food. I think we could sacrifice a messy kitchen for one day if they promise to clean up afterwards.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I could help clean up!” Kitty offers, taking the distraction easily. She wasn’t going to win that fight. “I just really like the idea of you two making things together. The best cook in the house and the best baker in the house.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now, I don’t know about the best cook. Jane does exist.” Cathy objects.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please, if it’s not you it’s Lina.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the sound of her name Catalina’s eyes light up in recognition. Everyone waits to see if she’ll participate in the conversation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, what’s me?” She asks softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The best cook in the house, babes.” Jane supplies. Catalina looks dumbfounded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That is very clearly you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a beat of silence, then the table immediately erupts into siding over who is actually the best cook in the house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s no surprise when two days later Anne finds herself in the kitchen with Cathy. They’re making dinner and desert, which should be fun. They’ll call Kitty later to help with cleanup. No doubt they’ll need backup on that front, this is gonna get messy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We need like, way more whisks than what we have out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? No we don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We absolutely do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anne, I am not letting your weird thing with whisks make more dishes to clean than necessary.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s no secret Anne likes whisks. They’re her favorite modern household item, she’s got a collection in an array of different sizes and materials in a dedicated drawer in the kitchen. So, naturally Anne disagrees with not taking out all of her whisks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re necessary!” She exclaims as she starts taking out more whisks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god. This is going to be a disaster.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turns to look at Cathy, who has taken up the start of seasoning the chicken.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be fine, darling. Don’t you worry.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She boops Cathy’s nose with a small sized whisk for extra effect. Cathy wrinkles her nose at the contact, but hums in content affirmation after the use of the name. Anne watches her continue to work silently. She can definitely see the ‘little sister look’ that Anna mentioned earlier, it’s cute. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pulls out the small radio kept in a cabinet at Catalina’s insistence, “Alright Cath, I’m connecting my phone to play music. Any requests?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy just shakes her head back, focusing on her task. So Anne blasts the first channel on her Pandora app and calls it a day. Then, she gets started on the desert for the night. She’s making strawberry cheesecake cupcakes, and they need to be perfect.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nevermind why they need to be perfect, she can’t think about that too much or she’ll need to stop and collect her thoughts. And if she does that then she might worry Cathy, and lord knows that woman needs a break from worrying. Another glance at Cathy shows her that she’s perfectly content, swaying back and forth to the melody of whatever popular song is playing in the background. Honestly, Anne didn’t put too much thought into the picking of the music. As long as there’s background music, she’s good. She can’t stand to be in the silence any longer. All that time in her room sent her thoughts spiraling, clearly the solitude and quiet didn’t work the way it was supposed to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe if she gets this recipe right she’ll feel a bit more normal. (And maybe, just maybe, Catalina will be in a better mood because she loves strawberries. But that’s not what this is about.) Everything has been a bit off since the argument. And everyone has noticed that it’s throwing Anne’s equilibrium off. Normally Lina is annoyed by Anne but they’ll be okay within the hour, maybe a few hours depending on the topic. Having her not talking to Anne and also acting distant from the others sends a bit more guilt through Anne’s heart. She caused this. She upset Catalina and made things uncomfortable for everyone in the process.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I’m done here. It just needs to marinate.” Cathy cleans her little setup and moves to wash her hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne’s gaze follows her as she cleans up after herself. Anne’s own space is covered in different kinds of ingredients and dishes. She’s been mixing in different bowls and adjusting as needed to get the right mix. Cathy approaches her and asks if she needs any help. Anne immediately dips a spoon into one mix.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, try this.” She shoves the spoon into Cathy’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cathy opens her mouth to respond, but gets a mouthful of cheesecake mix as she tries.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She takes her time to taste it, then moans in delight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That is incredible.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The compliment is appreciated, and she enlists Cathy’s help in making the strawberry syrup. With a promise to help Cathy cook side portions of dinner, of course.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’ll make the best dinner ever, and Catalina will feel better. If this doesn’t work Anne will find some other way to do it.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Am I selfishly giving myself more Anne and Cathy content than is needed? Yes, their friendship makes me happy. Let me live.</p><p>Also I’m not a huge fan of strawberries but if I’m having cheesecake it has to be strawberry cheesecake it’s the only way.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It should be noted, from the very beginning, that Catalina is all too aware of the fact that she overreacted. She overreacted, and now she doesn’t know how to fix it. Because every time that anyone speaks to her she makes it worse. Take last night for example:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Her heart is jumping out of her chest as she walks- well, stumbles- through Jane’s door. All she wants is to lay down with company. If only to prove she isn’t alone. If only to prove that what she saw in her dream is not real, did not follow her into the waking world. Jane wakes up immediately, alert and wanting to help. She goes to grab Catalina’s arm as she nearly falls over. This just causes Catalina to jump away from the contact though, and she falls anyway.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, sorry, are you okay?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Catalina feels a flash of annoyance. She’s not usually this quick to anger. It’s frightening to even herself how fast she responds.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Clearly not.” She growls.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Catalina stands. She’s not a monster, she does feel guilt when she hears the dejection in Jane’s voice. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Can I just stay in here?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jane nods, now looking like she’d rather not say anything at all. As if just speaking will anger Catalina- and it might. She’s been this short tempered for days.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She gets into bed, without saying anything else. They don’t speak for the rest of the night, and they certainly aren’t comfortable enough to sleep.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quite frankly, Catalina has no idea why she’s been this angry. She tried to express it in therapy and ended her dancing with just sobbing on the floor. It all started when she watched that damned documentary.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a quiet night, no one else was up. Not even Cathy, their resident insomniac. Catalina found herself unable to sleep. Mostly because of the date, it’s around the time her health started to decline in her past life. She’d been a bit down, quieter, but it hadn’t affected her temperament just yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was doing research on what happened after she died. What happened to her Mary. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bloody Mary,</span>
  </em>
  <span> they call her. It tears Catalina’s heart into pieces. She watched a documentary about her daughter, and it didn’t do Mary any favors when it came to what light she is shown in in history. She was a killer. It’s hard for Catalina to picture it. Not only because it’s her daughter, but because it’s so far off from the girl Catalina knew. She was sweet and smart and kind. Not this monster they make her out to be. But Mary did do those things, it is undeniable. She killed so many innocent people. And, to Catalina’s horror, in her honor. To honor her religion. It’s awful to think about. She shouldn’t have watched that documentary.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her daughter was a monster, that's what she got from it. And all throughout it was comparing Mary’s reign to Elizabeth’s. She knows it’s wrong to feel this way, but she can’t help but think it’s just not fair. It’s not fair that every time Catalina looks up her only surviving child, she sees a list of preventable deaths and awful doings; but when Anne looks up her’s, she sees England's greatest monarch, the one who brought on the enlightenment. How is it that Catalina’s baby, who was raised to be humble and loyal, as per her mother’s queenly motto, ended up being a villain in history? And even more perplexing and downright frustrating, how is it that Elizabeth, who was raised without a mother and neglected all her life, hadn’t cracked like that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s jealousy, and it’s ugly. Catalina is ashamed of those thoughts. She’d never wish any ill will on a child, She’s just so, so sad that her Mary turned out that way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t sleep that night, and then the next day she walked right into Anne’s prank. It all spiralled from there. She’s tried to stay quiet since then, not wanting to blow up anymore. She knows she scared the others. Honestly she scared herself. Her far away attitude and being snippy when she does actually speak has made everyone tiptoe around her. At breakfast everyone was sitting far away from her. As if she was going to get upset over, what, eating close to her? She’s frustrated with herself, because she may very well have gotten upset over nothing again. She doesn’t like being angry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne is at breakfast for the first time in days. She’s the one who officially breaks the silence; she’s always had a knack for making awkward situations more comfortable. Catalina mostly zoned out for the majority of it. But it's no surprise that when she’s finally brought into a conversation, it’s because Anne started one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She is not angry at Anne anymore. She’s never been angry about the ‘wearing yellow to her funeral’ thing, mostly she’s just hurt. She was angry in the moment, lashing out with the first thing that came to mind, but it’s just a bunch of hurt wrapped up into a ball of anger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She would have worn black to Anne’s funeral, but it’s fine. Or, it will be fine. Once she figures out how to fix her temper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Catalina?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turns her head to see Anne, holding a plate of what looks to be tres leches, a Latin kind of cake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I brought you a slice, thought you might like it.” She hands her the plate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anne honestly looks shocked to even get acknowledged. It stings to know that they expect anger from her now. Anne nods her head and runs off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Catalina looks down at the cake. Anne has been feeding her all her favorite desserts. Likely as an apology. It’s sweet, Catalina appreciates the gesture. Though she can’t figure out how to tell Anne it’s not necessary. She’s not really angry, so there’s nothing to make up for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taking a bite of the cake, she thinks of how she could say that that doesn’t come off as rude. She can’t think of any way to talk to Anne that won’t go wrong.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here’s what’s up with Catalina! She’s not doing too good tbh.</p><p>Leave a comment!! I thrive off of them!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’ve been working so hard on this omg. Here it is. </p>
<p>Fair warning, this hurt to write.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Anne is driving herself crazy in the silence, that much is plain to see. She’s constantly keeping the conversation around her going, the effort must be exhausting. And Catalina has barely spoken in days, no one knows what’s going on with her. She won’t even talk to Cathy or Kitty.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The other queens are getting pretty tired of the tension. And so in typical mediator fashion, Kitty calls a family meeting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This is getting kind of scary. I don’t know what’s up besides the argument the other day, but you two need to talk this out. Come to some kind of understanding.” Kitty explains.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Surprisingly enough, it’s Catalina who responds, not Anne.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you’re right.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That was easier than expected.</span>
  </em>
  <span> A collective thought from the four impartial queens.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kitty fumbles in her surprise for a moment, “Um, okay then. Can you tell us what’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina takes a deep steadying breath, and they all brace for whatever comes next. But what comes next is an apology. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To Anne.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Anne, I’m very sorry to have lost my temper like that. It wasn’t fair. The prank wasn’t meant for me and it was an honest accident.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>To Anne, the prank seems so distant and long ago. That’s not the root of the problem here. The root of the problem is Anne herself, she knows this with certainty.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to apologize, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina looks at her, as if she’s trying to find something in her eyes. As if she knows that the apology is for more than just the prank. Maybe she does.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think we need to have a conversation in private. Could you all give us a moment?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The queens reluctantly leave Anne alone with Catalina. Catalina pretends that them being afraid to leave someone alone with her doesn't sting. Once this is out in the open, maybe she’ll be able to sort that out. She is not an angry person.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once they’re sure the queens have left them alone, Catalina speaks up again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I do forgive you for that, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne’s eyes widen, “For the-“</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She cuts herself off, not being able to continue. It’s as if the words are too awful to speak. Honestly, to Anne it is. The reminder that no matter what she does to rectify it all, when it comes down to it she’s truly a terrible person by nature.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. I forgave you for that a long time ago.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a flurry of emotions on Anne’s face, then it settles into confusion.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If you forgive me, why bring it up?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That’s a good question. Catalina wishes she had the answer. Instead all she knows is that she was already sad and she said something she didn’t mean. That’s what she tells Anne, too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne looks contemplative as she takes in the answer. Then after some silence, she speaks up again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yellow is the color of mourning in Spain, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What? What does that have to do with- </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wait a minute.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne doesn’t respond, she just nods and looks away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“All this time… All this time I thought you </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated </span>
  </em>
  <span>me. I thought it was out of hate. I, I forgave you. But you hated me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne vehemently shakes her head, “No! I never hated you. I was jealous. I think at one point I thought I hated you, but now I know I was just insecure.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina needs a moment to recover. A moment to let that information fully sink in. There’s a thought that comes to mind, it’s not easy to think about, not easy to say. She thought she knew the answer until now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you mourn me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a heavy question, but with the implications of the question Anne just asked- Just, Catalina needs to know. Her mind is racing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne shrugs, then winces, then nods slowly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, but I think I did it wrong. Everyone thought I was making fun of your death.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, Anne.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know I hurt you. I hurt so many people, I know. I’m trying to be better. But even now I hurt people even when I don’t mean to. And I don’t even know what I did other than make a mess with the strawberry jam but I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Lina. You have to know that whatever it is, I didn’t mean it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina tries to cut in, but Anne just keeps going. She didn’t know Anne was beating herself up this bad.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m trying to be better, but clearly I’m not succeeding. Because you were acting distant all week before that, and then you got upset with me. And then you stopped talking to everyone and it’s all my fault! What can I do to make it up to you? I don’t want this apology to seem faked either, as if this conversation is the only reason I’m doing it-“</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The thought hadn’t crossed her mind. Clearly this is bottled up angst, not a forced apology.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry-“</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve said that already.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne immediately clamps her mouth shut.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Anne, I know you’re trying to be better. I admire that.” She starts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But the way I’ve been acting has nothing to do with you. I’m sorry I sent you into a spiral like that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault.” She repeats.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But,” She swallows down a sob, now is not the time to cry. “But it has to be my fault. What else could it be?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It has to be my fault.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That sounds familiar. They might be more alike than they initially thought.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It wasn’t you, Anne. I promise it wasn’t you.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne looks doubtful. There’s nothing Catalina can say to make her believe she had nothing to do with it. The least she can do is tell the truth.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been a bit upset recently,” Catalina watches Anne’s eyes light up as she begins to confide in her. Maybe she believes she can atone for things if she can help in some way. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The date. You were sick in your last life, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina is a bit shocked that Anne remembered, but Anne knew her. Sure, Jane knew her, but Anne had shared quarters with her and seen everything there is to see of Catalina. Anne </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> her. In her past life she was upset by this, mortified that her enemy saw her for who she is completely. But now, as she navigates her new life, it’s quite comforting to have someone who’s so familiar with her. Someone who gets it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” She confirms. “And I couldn’t sleep, so I was watching TV. And I stumbled across a documentary. One about my daughter.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne is immediately filled with sympathy for the woman. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, Lina</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s one thing to lose your daughter. It’s another entirely to lose your daughter and come to find out she turned into a monster. Anne feels guilt over it every day. It was her fault, of course. Her fault Mary lost her mother, her fault Henry treated her the way he did, her fault she wreaked havoc when she became queen. If Anne had been a better person Mary might not have been like that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina looks a bit shocked at the apology.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What on earth for?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s my fault. I messed everything up. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Anne,”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If I was better-“</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Anne,”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If I just stayed in France-“</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Anne,”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“If I was more persistent when I said no-“</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Anne!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne looks up at the woman, shaken up from the shout. She’d been spiraling pretty bad there. Still, she said nothing that wasn’t true.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mary made her own choices. She was an adult who did awful things. It was not your fault. It was her fault.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne looks at her for a long moment, observing her posture and her tone, then decides on a response.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll listen to yourself, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina leans back in her chair, looking a bit defeated.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure I can.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne nods, “It’s not your fault.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Looking at the woman, having heard the reasoning behind her behavior, Anne can see the stress she’s been putting herself through. Thinking about their children isn’t easy. They miss them every day. Clearly, Catalina has missed Mary exceptionally. She can only imagine how she must have felt when Anne forced the two to part.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not mad at you.” Anne starts a reply, but barely begins her response when Catalina speaks again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But, you’re mad at yourself?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne blinks back, not sure when this turned around. This conversation is not about her hurt. It’s about Aragon’s.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I-“ She breaks off, not sure how to properly reply.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> mad at herself. She hurt Catalina, and Catalina is the nicest person she’s ever met. In either life, Catalina has been gracious and taken everything in stride. Sure, she raises her voice every once in a while. But really, Anne deserves it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I hate myself.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina stands, walks over to the couch and sits next to Anne.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mija,” She starts, but it seems like she is at a loss for words. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne isn’t sure where to go from here. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Then, Catalina hugs her. She pulls her right into her chest and doesn’t let go, only rubs her back and squeezes her gently.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” She chokes out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina just holds her tighter, “I know, mija.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They stay like that for a long time. No one comes to see if they’ve finished talking, so they aren’t interrupted at all. Catalina holds Anne the entire time she cries.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think one more chapter after this. It was supposed to be the final chapter but I got to a good stopping point and it was getting pretty long.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Oh no. Oh no. I messed up- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Help!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Anne barely gets the word out as she falls to the ground. The others immediately surround her. As she looks up at them all she sees is concerned faces.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The horse she’s just fallen off of joins the faces above her, looking down at her in a taunting manner. She’s not hurt, her butt hurts a bit from last time she fell off, but they weren’t even moving. She just keeps falling off as she tries to balance herself. Anne has a </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrible</span>
  </em>
  <span> sense of coordination.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kitty asks if she’s okay as she helps her up. And she is. She's great, actually. Because she’s spending time with her family. They’re at a horse ranch, and it’s given them all wonderful spirits for the day. However, Anne is not very good at staying on her horse. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Since the conversation between Catalina and Anne, things have gotten a lot less tense. In an attempt to fully mend their family, they’ve started going on fun outings together. Then Anne realized that as long as they’re spending time together, her thoughts stay mainly positive. And if they don’t, she has someone around to talk to. In short, Anne feels a lot more stable when she’s spending time with her family. Upon finding out that it helps her this much, the other queens made a weekly schedule where they would all go out and do something. It was Kitty’s turn to pick what they do, and she chose horseback riding lessons.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But, again, Anne isn’t great at staying on her horse.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know what? I think I’m just going to take a quick break.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I could use a break too. Mind if I come with?” Catalina asks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Catalina gracefully gets off of her horse, and they make their way over to a nearby bench in the shade. They watch the others trot around having fun in peaceful silence. Their horses seem happy for the break too, as they stand next to them making contented horse noises.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kitty’s really having the time of her life there.” Anne comments. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The girl has a permanent smile on her face as she races Anna through a course. Catalina looks at the girl with pure fondness. Anne can see the mother like pride as Kitty excels at whatever she does. It makes her happy, to know that Kitty has a maternal figure like Catalina. But then Catalina looks at Anne, tearing her gaze from the other queens.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, she is. But how about you? Are you having fun?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That’s her way of asking if she’s doing okay. If she needs someone to talk to. She asks that every time they go out, in some variation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Here’s the thing, Anne is not having a lot of fun. Not really, she keeps falling off of her horse. She’s going to have bruises. But, staring out at her family, sitting next to someone she admires, she feels- well, she feels loved. They started going out for her sake in the first place. And they didn’t make it seem like it’s only for her, either. They’re all clearly having fun, they have fun wherever they go. Anne is always included, they check in on her often. The effort is enough to make her heart burst.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>If they all love her that much, if they want her around that much, maybe she isn’t unlovable. Maybe she can learn to love herself. And maybe she can actually become the person she wants to be, regrets and all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. Yeah, I’m feeling great.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>SO, here’s the last chapter of Anne’s part. I apologize that it’s taken this long, I was having a bit of a block on how to end it.  </p>
<p>I do hope you all like it though! I wanted to end it on a lighter note, as it’s been quite heavy.</p>
<p>Leave a comment!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some set up for angst! Sorry again.</p>
<p>Leave a comment!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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